5/13- Back at Ma's

The bus drops us off at the bottom of the hill that winds up to Mom and Musty's house. Its a bit of a heavily traveled road, filled with Jersey drivers, and surrounded on either side by woods filled with wandering deer. Whilst walking up this way I spotted a deer about ten feet away from us in someone's lawn. She was just standing there, munching on something, staring at us wondering if we were going to shoot her or not with a look of curiosity. Todd then pointed out another deer just ahead. I looked up just in time to see one prancing out into the road right in front of some guy cruising at top speed around a bend on his cellphone. The deer was hit full on in the center of his body against the center of driving man's hood ornament shattering the plastic grill.

The deer flew about ten feet into the bend in the road and skidded another ten or fifteen to the point where Todd and I thought we might have to jump out of the way. It came to a final resting spot some 7 or 8 feet before us tucked nicely under a bush. The guy pulled over to examine his car and we, a bit shaken at this point, crossed the road carefully and made our way up the steep driveway home. In this new mindset of spotting signs out of odd events I muttered to Todd in a half joking, half still freaked out tone something like, "I wonder if that means someone on our trip is gonna die."

We got home, unwound a bit and put the deer incident behind us. I went up to check my email and Facebook account which was where that odd statement above found a possibility of meaning. Flipping through the profile of an old friend of mine, Dave, from Massachusetts I found pictures of some sort of tribute to his brother, Evan, also a good friend, but with no pictures of Evan to be found in it at all. I thought maybe he'd won an award or something since he was one of those genius kids who seemed infinitely full of potential. I then found a tribute video done by Dave for Evan that I watched silently filled with pictures of him growing up through life and ending with "1979-2009". Apparently he had died suddenly just two months ago. Shocking as this was to discover in such an abstractly strange way, it did put a new intensity to my visit to Massachusetts coming up.

The next day my sister flew in. Here was the reunion at last that I was quite excited to see. One thing I've really been anticipating in this trip was seeing what conversations would arrise between Todd, my sister Wendie, my Mom, and I with all that's going on in our lives at the moment. Wendie has always felt very much like a key figure in this exploration Todd and I are attempting. She has had the same feeling as well and none of us have any idea what it means, since she is nestled far off in the Olympic Pennisula in Washington state. Her and my mother both have always seemed to me connected in a way that is much more femininely spiritual though they are very different in personalities, and both of them are exploring these beliefs quite intensely now in their own ways. My Mom and I are the ones who are very similar in attitude, personality, and general approaches to people. The first night, Wendie, Todd, and I stayed up until about 1am fully enthralled with ideas and exploring memories.

Saturday we decided to head back into the city again to visit Wendie's good friend, Angela. We took the ferry across the Hudson and bused down back to SoHo again where Angela grew up and lives now. We landed ourselves in a really funky coffee shop/bookstore around the corner from her house that is run entirely by volunteers to raise housing money for AIDS victims. It was a place that seemed to have lurked out of an old movie set with the wood spiral stairs and books piled all around. Claiming a center table with our coffees and cookies we set ourselves up for two hours of good idealogical exploration. We delved into everything from Todd and my draw to living nomadically, Angela's possible discertation topics on social issues involving a trip to Cambodia, to my Mom's views and intrigues about these issues and wanderings from the standpoint of being happily suburban and my sister's input from her own self explorations both traveling and rooting in. The talk was intense but light and after spreading our brains around we ended it with chocolate chip cookies. Angela headed home for more studies after that and we strolled back to the ferry forty blocks away. By the time we got home we were famished and tired leading to a night of braining out to the TV.

Sunday was Mother's Day and I think Todd was feeling the need to vanish for a few reasons. On one hand I think he wanted to give my sister and I space to be with our Mom for the holiday. On the other hand, he was leaving on a bus for a two day trip the next day and needed to be on his own to recollect himself in both his head and his pack. As he retired to his room for the day we wandered off on a walk around the surrounding streets. It was a nice day of just relaxation. I also was able to get a call in to my friend Loreli back in Denver to wish her a nice Mother's Day. I thought it was funny that she said she gets more calls on Mother's Day than on her birthday a week and a half later. That night Wendie and I cooked up a nice dinner for Mom and gave her some presents, all of which had something to do with these curious ideas we've been exploring.

The next day was Todd's departure day. In the morning we broke out our packs and mulled over what I needed for being on my own and what he needed back to exchange at REI. One thing of contention that came up was his hat. It was a hilariously confusing back and forth on it that started Sunday night. He was thinking that the hat was simply a luxury item and not worth the money he paid, therefore he was going to return it to get the cash back. I really like the hat so I offered to buy it off of him, and actually gave him some money for it. Monday morning he'd changed his mind and wanted to keep it saying he really liked it. At that point I told him to keep the money I gave him for it and just buy me one in Albuquerque if he goes back there. Somehow this became really involved with the phantom money now "in the air" tied up with other money we'd owed each other from train travel and shipping things and we twisted our brains into knots. Once we finally came to some idea of what was going to happen my Mom then offered to buy his hat for me for my birthday since she knew I liked it and he might be getting rid of it. This retemptation got that process going all over again. Either way, maybe you had to be there, but up until he was grabbing his bag at the bus station the confusion and indecision was still milling about.

Once gone, and just Wendie, Mom, and I were driving home, Wendie mentioned something really odd. She asked me if I thought that I was going to meet up with him again. When I asked her what she meant she clarified saying it wasn't that she thought we wouldn't be traveling together again, but that I would be having a lot of times on my own on this trip. My mom had also had the same inclinations. The funny thing was that I had also had that feeling back in Denver which I often told my friend Ang about when she was asking what I thought it'd be like traveling together. Todd and I also had often talked about the notion of a split between us that would likely happen on the trip. None of these ideas were thinking that these separations would be out of anamosity, but more that he and I are on similar paths, though not the same one, and at times they would go separate ways to be fully explored.

It was interesting to me that they both had picked up on that. Todd and I had also been talking about switching the train ticket back around so that he could just go to Toledo and I could meet him there once I was done in Mass. Wendie had given me a $50 Amtrak gift certificate for my birthday when we exchanged gifts on Mother's Day, so it wouldn't cost me any money to do so. That idea would continue to go back and forth the entire time he was away.

Tuesday was a very interesting day and one I had been waiting a while for. After having read that book Many Mansions about Edgar Cayce, and exploring those ideas of past lives informing karma, I was really interested in finding someone to give me a past life reading. My Mom went through a long period in her 40's just after the divorce where she was free to really dive into a lot of this psychic curiosity she's had. There's a deep history of it in our family as well down her line. I think I gave the story in my introduction post, but her grandmother could channel spirits and my Mom has always been very in tune with exploring that energy.

During this exploration of hers she became quite adept at finding those who were genuinely gifted and those who were just fakes. A few months ago, when I was talking a lot about these travels and interests, she found a woman who lives about fifteen minutes away through her chiropractor. She made an appointment with her for Wendie, herself, and I to go get these life readings done, and that was our Tuesday adventure.

My general gauge on whether or not something anyone is telling me, psychic or not, is valid is whether or not it rings true. The session was supposed to be an hour and it nearly ran into two. I sat for an hour and a half with my head down staring into my lap just listening as she gave my reading and it rang through me with good clarity. So much of it rang true to me as she knew nothing of me but hit on my wandering tendencies, my conflict with wanting to settle down but being unable to, things about ways that I think and process things, among many other things. It was impressive to me, and refocused me a bit on what it is I'm trying to do at the moment.

After the readings we went for a walk in the park nearby to mull over and process everything that had been said. Mom's also resonated very deeply with her, but Wendie was struggling with hers. Much of what the lady said tore at many things Wendie had just gotten through and past. She was struggling with wondering if she was having trouble with hard truths, though that didn't seem like the case, or if the lady was off about her. It was an odd end to the whole experience, but on a whole didn't detract from anything I got out of it.

The walk was nice, and afterward we returned home for dinner and relaxation. Wendie turned in for a nap after dinner and I broke out the Settlers of Catan for a game with Mom and Musty. The next day we took Wendie to the airport and away she went. I was intending to take the train back into the city again to meet up with the friend's I'd missed the week before, but I changed my mind last minute feeling completely disorganized and unrested. Instead I went to a movie and saw Star Trek while Mom went to yoga.

I picked up a notebook at the Barnes & Noble around the corner from the theatre after the movie while waiting for Mom to come pick me up. The rest of the night consisted of getting everything in order for going back to the city, which included setting up where I was sleeping the next few days. Early Thursday morning, Mom woke me up and dropped me off at the bus stop on her way into work.

Click here for Todd's perspective.